A few short years ago, had someone come to me and confessed feeling as I do now, I would have told them simply to pray about it and God would relieve their anxiety. I would surely have quoted verses and even shared a short prayer before sending them on their way. I must confess I feel differently about that now. I have prayed about it. I know the right verses. I have even asked others to pray for me. And pills. I asked for and received pills from my doctor. Sure enough. They help...and hinder. I do feel better, but they pull me down until I stare into space and feel detached from my surroundings. This is with a less than minimal dose!
I have researched, watched Today Show interviews and talked with others who have experienced anxiety. Nothing has helped much. I have better days and I have bad days. I have feelings that something is wrong...that someone will be upset with me... that I am being snubbed...I know these thoughts can be self-fulling and I find that bothersome. My heart beats too fast, my brain won't focus. I know it is affecting my work and my very closest relationships.
They say the causes of anxiety build up over time but suddenly manifest themselves in a time of panic and unexplained fear. For me, it happened one evening when something very incidental happened. I (wrongly) thought I had done something wrong. I began pacing the floor and actually saying out loud, "What am I going to do? What am I going to do?" Rationally I knew it was no big deal and sure enough it was not even a deal at all, much less a big deal.
I try to think about what is the worst that can happen. Death? Most likely not. Anything else I can survive. :-) Must keep the sense of humor. I've gotta admit. This is not easy for someone who is driven to do well, has always done well and struggles with a lack of control. Oh, Well! Tomorrow is another day. I will survive. I will thrive.
I have researched, watched Today Show interviews and talked with others who have experienced anxiety. Nothing has helped much. I have better days and I have bad days. I have feelings that something is wrong...that someone will be upset with me... that I am being snubbed...I know these thoughts can be self-fulling and I find that bothersome. My heart beats too fast, my brain won't focus. I know it is affecting my work and my very closest relationships.
They say the causes of anxiety build up over time but suddenly manifest themselves in a time of panic and unexplained fear. For me, it happened one evening when something very incidental happened. I (wrongly) thought I had done something wrong. I began pacing the floor and actually saying out loud, "What am I going to do? What am I going to do?" Rationally I knew it was no big deal and sure enough it was not even a deal at all, much less a big deal.
I try to think about what is the worst that can happen. Death? Most likely not. Anything else I can survive. :-) Must keep the sense of humor. I've gotta admit. This is not easy for someone who is driven to do well, has always done well and struggles with a lack of control. Oh, Well! Tomorrow is another day. I will survive. I will thrive.
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