NOW I Know I'm Alive

It's a little like pouring a bucket of ice water over someone half asleep just as they are getting out from under some snuggly warm covers. You know you're alive.


Or maybe it's more like jumping from a plane only to discover your parachute doesn't open. You just released the trapeze swing and the next one is not coming toward you. There's no net.



Something inside sends a message to every fiber of your being. Your senses heighten. You feel this intense invigorating awareness that your life has just changed. You are flying. You are free. Suddenly the exhilaration brings a realization that life as you know it may be ending soon. It's too late to change your course. You can't jump back into the plane; the swing is out of reach. Your decision is irreversible. Fear grips your very soul. The immediate feeling of freedom quickly becomes a realization of doom and impending pain. What will it feel like to hit the ground? Will it hurt? Will I survive? Will help come? How will my future change? Will I have a future? Will those in the plane cheer my demise? I guess it really doesn't matter.

I walked away from my job today.