I thought it was just me—play fair and make sure everyone else does, too. A simple enough rule. But life has become confusing. How do you play fair when there are no rules? It seems the rules are changing while the clock is running! That’s not fair. There are rules for basketball, baseball, tennis…even dodge ball and red rover, for cryin’ out loud! We learned social skills because there were rules to follow. I like rules. I like to know that there is a rule that says you don’t burp in public and if an air bubble happens to slip out, you say, “Excuse me.” I like to know that it is appropriate to dress for business. I like to know the boundaries in conversation. I like knowing that some actions are suitable and others are not. I can play by the rules – or I can choose not to play by the rules, but I need to know what the rules are. Don’t you?
Ours is the generation that changed a lot of the rules. Women gained equality. Children were granted rights. Men learned to vacuum and wash dishes. Love was free and uninhibited. And it all became ok.
I’m afraid we were near-sighted when we changed the rules. We did not foresee that this game would go into overtime and we made no rules.
Your family will always be there when you need them. We didn’t see that by moving far away from our family home and farm, we would break the rule that says, “Mom will bring chicken soup when you are not feeling well.” No matter how much love a family possesses, children have lost out by not seeing Grandma and Grandpa on a weekly basis. They haven’t heard the stories or felt the comfort that comes only from a close grandparent-grandchild relationship. My children and I lost out by not having my parents live two blocks away. We should have made a rule that you can only move a maximum of two hours away from home.
There will always be more than enough to go around. We set the standard of materialism extremely high. We didn’t realize that our children would become so accustomed to designer athletic shoes and the newest and best video entertainment that they would never be content to make their own walkie-talkies out of paper cups and string and imagine it worked because we told them it did. As a result, they live in houses they can’t fill and drive cars they can’t afford. We should have made a rule that you can have it now, but not all of it yet.
Someone will always be there to take care of everyone. Just not true. We made an assumption, but forgot to make the rule about who will do it. Who’s going to take care of my parents? I live too far away. My brother? Sure, but he’s also taking care of his grandchildren. Who’s going to take care of him? I live too far way. (Refer to Rule #1)
You’re only as old as you feel. That’s our rule. We made it up. We are trying desperately to play by that rule. Don’t give me a rule then set me up to lose. This is a cruel game we are playing. While we can feel 28 on the inside, our bodies belie that feeling. The pain in your back didn’t used to be there. You were not even aware that you had a knee when you were 28, now it aches every time the weather changes. Inside, we can still climb mountains, drive fast cars, write a book. On the outside, we sit in our recliner, watch the travel channel and drive the remote control. Don’t fault us for coloring our hair, using Botox and seeking plastic surgery. It’s not a matter of vanity and self-indulgence. We are only trying to play by the rules. We are in the fourth quarter and trying to close the gap between how old we are and how old we feel on the inside!
We’ve tried to make up the rules as we go. We depend on Miss Manners. Where are Emily Post and that Vanderbilt lady when we need them? Who gets invited to the wedding? Does your Dad’s girlfriend sit next to your step-mother? Do both of them sit on the same pew with your mother and her current friend? Do you inherit your dad’s wealth or does it go to his 27 year-old fourth wife and her children? Who gets your mother’s good china?
We can’t quit playing now even if the game is out of control and the players are all over the field with no official game plan. The referees are blowing the whistle and we don’t know why. We are being penalized and not sure what we did wrong because we don’t know the rules. We are still inventing this game our children and grandchildren will play. Who’s going to write the rulebook? We need one now!
Ours is the generation that changed a lot of the rules. Women gained equality. Children were granted rights. Men learned to vacuum and wash dishes. Love was free and uninhibited. And it all became ok.
I’m afraid we were near-sighted when we changed the rules. We did not foresee that this game would go into overtime and we made no rules.
Your family will always be there when you need them. We didn’t see that by moving far away from our family home and farm, we would break the rule that says, “Mom will bring chicken soup when you are not feeling well.” No matter how much love a family possesses, children have lost out by not seeing Grandma and Grandpa on a weekly basis. They haven’t heard the stories or felt the comfort that comes only from a close grandparent-grandchild relationship. My children and I lost out by not having my parents live two blocks away. We should have made a rule that you can only move a maximum of two hours away from home.
There will always be more than enough to go around. We set the standard of materialism extremely high. We didn’t realize that our children would become so accustomed to designer athletic shoes and the newest and best video entertainment that they would never be content to make their own walkie-talkies out of paper cups and string and imagine it worked because we told them it did. As a result, they live in houses they can’t fill and drive cars they can’t afford. We should have made a rule that you can have it now, but not all of it yet.
Someone will always be there to take care of everyone. Just not true. We made an assumption, but forgot to make the rule about who will do it. Who’s going to take care of my parents? I live too far away. My brother? Sure, but he’s also taking care of his grandchildren. Who’s going to take care of him? I live too far way. (Refer to Rule #1)
You’re only as old as you feel. That’s our rule. We made it up. We are trying desperately to play by that rule. Don’t give me a rule then set me up to lose. This is a cruel game we are playing. While we can feel 28 on the inside, our bodies belie that feeling. The pain in your back didn’t used to be there. You were not even aware that you had a knee when you were 28, now it aches every time the weather changes. Inside, we can still climb mountains, drive fast cars, write a book. On the outside, we sit in our recliner, watch the travel channel and drive the remote control. Don’t fault us for coloring our hair, using Botox and seeking plastic surgery. It’s not a matter of vanity and self-indulgence. We are only trying to play by the rules. We are in the fourth quarter and trying to close the gap between how old we are and how old we feel on the inside!
We’ve tried to make up the rules as we go. We depend on Miss Manners. Where are Emily Post and that Vanderbilt lady when we need them? Who gets invited to the wedding? Does your Dad’s girlfriend sit next to your step-mother? Do both of them sit on the same pew with your mother and her current friend? Do you inherit your dad’s wealth or does it go to his 27 year-old fourth wife and her children? Who gets your mother’s good china?
We can’t quit playing now even if the game is out of control and the players are all over the field with no official game plan. The referees are blowing the whistle and we don’t know why. We are being penalized and not sure what we did wrong because we don’t know the rules. We are still inventing this game our children and grandchildren will play. Who’s going to write the rulebook? We need one now!
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